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Have you ever tripped your self over? I mean literally now, like that guy on the morning train (a fully functioning normal healthy guy), on his way to work, who every morning had a glance of this beautiful woman; always sitting just a few rows ahead of him, never facing him, but definitely so beautiful that he kept falling in love with her every time he saw her.
Well one morning when she stepped on to the train her regular seat was taken, but the one opposite of our guy was free, so she sat herself down there, and politely said "Good morning" to him.
Since we all know how important the first impression is, and that it lasts - gives us a starting point for our social value in somebody elses eyes, we try our best to give this great first impression. You'd think that it is only to set that value by pretending that you have a high value by playing it cool, when you meet strangers and that would do it... but this is known to be something that failures from time to time.
In this story about our guy, his conscious part of his mind immediately started to think "I must be cool, relaxed and say something intelligent, to impress on her". At the same time his male functioning reptile brain kept taking in the astonishing view of her, thinking she had the greatest legs he'd ever seen and he had some idea of giving her a compliment on that, and so he started fumbling around with words:
"Good morning. I must say you look almost as pretty as you do from behind - especially your legs."
As she froze from that comment, he realized that it came out a bit odd, and tried to explain himself with
" I've seen you before on this train every morning, but only from behind, I mean I've only seen your hair, your neck and your legs, as you usually sit over there facing the other way - but it's really nice to see your face too, and your legs from the other side as well"
A bit suspicious of what's he's fishing for, she asks him " you keep referring to my legs all the time - what is it about legs for you?"
And all by a sudden his brain trips him over with "It's my leg - it doesn't work anymore"
"What's wrong with your leg?" she asks.
"I don't have it anymore" he says.
"You're amputated?" she says "poor fellow!" - and he just nods even though this is not true.
Even if he gains her sympathy and empathy, he has now by this (white?) lie that just pooped out of his mouth, made it impossible to ever get in bed with her, (which of course has been one of his fantasies for as long as he has enjoyed the view of her), without admitting that it was a lie - and while he's getting deeper and deeper into this lie, the consequences of it will of course be worse the later he'll try to set things right, if he want's to gain her trust ever again - which he realizes at the speed of light.
Why does the brain do this things to us? Why do we say something stupid on a job interview ( like I have three times in a row now), or have a brain freeze when we meet that girl we are interested in - it's typical for us guys to become a sheep, only capable to say "baaa".
According to some theories this has to do with our self-image in the sub-conscious part of our mind. In this part you have an unknown limitation build in which has not been verified by your conscious mind. It can be a product of our collective conscious, i.e. all those "impossible" records running one mile in less than 4 minutes, as well. This barrier stands until someone breaks through this mental wall, and then by a sudden several others follow through.
However that is not the kind I refer to now, it is the more or less invisible limits you've got regarding what is possible for you. A simple test that you can do:
Stand straight up and hold your right arm straight forward in front of you. Now slowly rotate your body to the right at see how far your rotation goes. Notice what you're pointing at with your arm, before you return to the start position. Now you close your eyes and imagine how you rotate your body and arm slowly past this point and much further than before, see this happen in your mind, "feel" this happen in your body and picture how you seam to be able to rotate much further than before.
Open your eyes and try the rotation in reality once more - see how you now can go past the former limit and reach much much further than before. What has happened? Well when you did this the first time you had some kind of inner subconscious limit that you were not aware of. That had to be challenged to make it possible for you to achieve the second result.
The same thing happens when you reach a limit in the gym, not being able to lift a heavier weight, it can block yourself from loosing weight, getting a job, or making that impression of a woman. Either it is a limit for your possible performance, or if it is a social value that you have set stating that you are not worth to date or mate with this astonishing person you've just met for the first time, it ends up with you tripping your self over.
I myself got tired of this and have recently found some books on this topic, that gives the theoretical explanation, and even more valuable - methods to start to deal with these limiting thoughts in the subconscious part of my brain. After trying these methods, I have noticed that I in some ways have started to change my behavior in some small ways, and also that I have been able to pass one border at the gym, being able to squat more than I have ever been able to before in my life (which is in no way close to a WR, but significantly more for me), after only a few weeks of practice. I feel more focused on what I'm doing at the gym and it has become easier to focus on doing those things I want to develop, than skipping them or using bad strategies that backfires, when I want to achieve my goals.
If you want to read a simple guide to practical methods on this subject I can recommend a Swedish author Lars Eric Uneståhl. You can also watch Kjell Enhager on YouTube. And I also found some keys in the book "How to get lots of money for anything fast" by S Lichtman and J Vitale. Don't judge the book by it's name - there is more to it than you think and that has worked out on my weight lifting to start with, teaching me how to keep focus on my goal and preventing me from limiting myself.
I'm not saying that this is the solution to all my or your problems, but I have at least started my journey on taking control of my life - are you willing to start yours?
... and the poor guy from my story? Well when time came to go to bed with her, he got so desperate that he actually asked a butcher to cut of his leg, rather than to face the lie, blaming himself forever for his brain tripping him over.
/Magnus